Late this afternoon we had the opportunity to take a friend to dinner. He happens to be 86 years old and lives alone. His wife died this past year and what I realized in thinking back about today is how much people want and need each other but don't either know how to ask or are uncomfortable asking.
I thought this might be an interesting blog post for all of us who either know someone in a similar situation or have been through this and have experiences to share. I thought that the following might be of interest:
- Don't assume that people, especially elderly people, living alone don't want company or to go just because they don't talk about it
- Don't assume that because someone is in their 80's that they do not have their same interests and desires. In this particular case we asked him to go play golf and he first said, I can't play like I use to but then immediately followed up with, "Let me think about it".
- Don't be afraid to talk about their spouse, family member or friend who has died. People love, and often need, to talk about someone who has died but when someone doesn't bring it up they don't either.
- Don't assume someone in their 80's eats dinner at the same time you are accustomed to. We went at 4:00 today and it seemed to be just perfect.
- Don't assume you have to have it together or have certain skills to be with an elderly person. All they want is for you to be real, authentic and genuine.
- Don't think you have to be serious. It's ok to be light hearted and to have fun.
Who do you know that lives nearby who might love a cup of coffe, a walk, a meal or just a visit? It's relationships and that is ultimately what we are all about.
About the Author: Kelly Young, GRI
- Author's website: www.sellmyhomeincoloradosprings.com
- More posts by Kelly
- email the author
Kelly is an Associate Broker with Red Rock Realty. She has over 12 years experience in Real Estate in the Colorado Springs and Front Range region of Colorado. She represents buyers and sellers of real estate buying homes, land for sale, mountain getaways. Specific areas include: Black Forest, Broadmoor, Colorado Springs, Divide, Falcon, Downtown, Manitou Springs, Monument, Old Colorado City, Westside, Woodmen Hills and Woodland Park. You can reach her at 719-226-0126 or by clicking "email the author" above.
Kelly,
That is a great post. My Mom lives alone and is up in years. I live in another city and I know she really appreciates company, whether it is a call or an in person visit. That was such a great gift of your time and attention to the senior. You are building good karma.
Hi Kelly, I agree! Communication is so important with our clients, and the elderly would prefer the personal communication rather than the email.
Hi Kelly. Having no assumptions up front, being friendly, and being a great listener will get you far with the older set for sure. WONDERFUL advice.
Kelly - what a wonderful gift you gave to a friend.
Dear Kelly,
Great post and kind sentiments!
My Mom is 88. She loves to go out! Dinner at 7p.m. is fine with her.
She drinks wine with lunch and dinner. She is German!
A filet mignon is wonderful for her!
She loves to cook, garden, and have friends over for wine and cheese on the porch. She still drives and often prefers the company of her friends to my company. They are more interesting!
I think many of my clients loke her better than me--she is more interesting!
Thanks for sharing!
Barbara
Kelly, My mom is 96 years old and can hold her own in any conversation. In fact one of her literary fans (my mom is a writer and poet) recently recommended to Bill Moyers that he have my mom on his television program. My mom said she'd go on the air. The sad thing is that the only visitor she gets besides myself is this one fan. Everyone else says they plan to visit her or call, but they never do. It's gets lonely when you get old, everyone is just too busy with their lives. I have a friend who is in her 80's. I call her on the phone and enjoy getting together with her. I derive a lot of pleasure from visiting my parents and my older friend.
Evening Kelly - Really enjoyed your post. I just came back from my grandmother who is 95+ and the family has dinner at her house every Sunday. Also, on our block we live near lots of seniors and throughly enjoy them out and about.
Keep it up!
Cheers
Kelly, Great subject and post. There was a very dear lady that I had the opportunity to meet and spend time with. She was a widow and loved to talk about anything. The saddest thing I learned was when I sent her a birthday card. About a week later she hugged me and said it had been years since someone sent her a card. She had family that lived away and she had not gotten cards because they thought she couldn't read them. It wasn't the reading that was important, but the fact she got one. It doesn't take a lot to brighten someone's day, just a simple act is all it takes.
Kelly - I belong to an organization where most members are seniors - 70+. One lady who treats me like her daughter is almost 98 years and I talked to her all the time.
Before my Daddy passed the only people who visited or called him were myself and salespeople who wanted him to change his medicare HMO coverage. He changed it every several months. It's too bad that we neglect ur elderly - good reminder. Thanks
Kelly,
This is very good information. It is good to stay in touch with those older than us for a couple of reasons:
Thank you ma'am for the reminder.
Wow, what great input. Thank all of you for your time, interest and sharing your stories about your Mom's and elderly people in your life. From a Real
Estate perspective, I took the SRES (seniors) class and designation which was incredibly valuable and interesting in how to communicate and serve different age groups based on their needs, interests and way of life. Happy Monday!
Kelly, what a great post! I could listen for hours to the many stories my Grandfather would tell us. People get wiser as they get older and it is worth the time and effort to learn from their many experiences. Have a good week!